Confessions of a brokenhearted girl… And the reason behind being a #QUENaddict

So how do I start? How do I start narrating a sad love story?

This post is for my own motivation to let go of the past, live the present and be excited for what future would bring. It’s been a year but the pain keeps on getting the way. How do you unwrite the past? You just can’t. The solution? Accept it!

May mga sugat palang hindi kayang pagalingin ng isang taon, lalo na kung hindi mo tinutulungan ang sarili sa paggamot nito. Malala pa niyan, umaasa kang darating siya isang araw, na parang “Knight in shining armor” mo na gagamot sa durog mong pusong siya ring nagwasak. Galing diba?

Sometimes, when you thoughtย you’ve move on from him, here he is, making the moves to re-own you. He will let you feel that you’re special than “her,” surprising you with stuff that he never did during the days when everything’s fine.

What have I done wrong? Nagkulang ba ako? Ang hirap. You keep on asking yourself. But when you thought of all the lies and infidelity, ibang usapan na yan.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. When he has the balls to do it once, he will always will. Hashtag cheater!

For almost five years, I’ve been a very faithful girlfriend to him. Selos? Wala na yan sakin eh. Since I have trust on him, I let him join a modeling workshop (for his own achievement). I never had the chance to visit him during workshops because it’s his “me time.” Sayang, sana pala I tried kahit once. From there, she met the girl that caused our break-up.

The day came when the girl discovered that his so-called “boyfriend” has a girlfriend aside from her. During that time, they were almost four months in a relationship.

I tried my very best to keep our relationship, but it was destined to end that way. “Kung hindi ukol, hindi bubukol.”

Everything happens for a reason, that’s why we have to think first before making our moves, because we never know, it’s our destiny and it’s the key to our happiness. But I have to confess, it hurts… and my heart is still bleeding and wounded.

After all these, I still thank our King, Lord God, for giving me the chance to choose who to love since I am now free from any commitment. I am grateful that my whole attention leads to the King of the Gil, Enrique Gil. I don’t know where it all started. I just found myself adoring this guy so much that he is always in my dreams. God gave me Quen (his nickname) to move forward and enjoy life, laugh often and still love despite all the sudden turn of events in my life.

In my three years of tenure in ABS-CBN, I always had the chance to see Quenito (if given the chance). The first time was in 2011 when they were still doing the youth-oriented show “Shoutout.” I don’t even know him yet, my co-OJT had a crush on him and she giggled with “Gosh… Si Enrique!” The next meeting was still in that year, when we had our Studio Tours in ABS-CBN and watched ASAP Rocks. He was BJ in “Budoy” that time, not my crush though. My mom took our first ever photo outside Studio 10.

Throwback: First photo with @enriquegil17 โค๏ธ #2011 #KINGOfTheGil #EnriqueGil

A photo posted by Pamela Galindez ๐Ÿ’ƒ (@pamelagalindez) on

Enrique is my Knight in shining armor (even if he doesn’t know). I wish that one day, he will know what he has done to me, he saved my broken heart just by being himself. My last year’s best night ever was his dance concert, the “King of the Gil” at the Araneta Coliseum.

Deleted all songs, some apps, photos and videos in my phone to document the concert, and it was worth it! #KingOfTheGil #EnriqueGil

A photo posted by Pamela Galindez ๐Ÿ’ƒ (@pamelagalindez) on

My world only revolves around him, so I should know where he is, what he is up to or where I can watch him (stalker alert!). Unfortunately, he is not active in social media. He rarely tweets and posts anything about him.

It’s been a year but I still can’t forget what happened. I can forgive, but I will never ever forget it. Kahit ayoko mang isipin, nasasariwa parin ang bawat detalye ng kahapon. There are things that remind me of him, the places we visited together, foods we have shared, music we sang and dance together, the smell of his perfume, the clothes he wears, his favorite food, and the list goes on.

Sometimes, you have to know when to hold on and when to let go. To hold on is to trust him again after all the lies, but unfortunately, gone are the days when I trust him. To let go is to move forward and to lift it all to the Lord.

I chose the best option — to let go.

My realization? When everything has been said and done, the “only” and healthy option is to start anew, without him.

One thing’s for sure, she can never replace me or can never even surpass what we had. There’s a special space in his heart that’s just for me, and it is forever taken. It can never be vacated for her to take place. I assure you. What we had is very, very special and magical… And what we had can never be yours.

I’ve been there since day one. I’ve seen his losses and his wins, his face when he cries or laughs, and eats like there’s no tomorrow. When he runs, he smiles; when he’s angry, he’s still handsome. Every thing I need to know about him, I already know, except the “shits” when I’m away — or should I say when he is also with me.๐Ÿ™‚

But as I’ve shared, my heart is still happy even if it has been wounded. I know it happened because it was destined to happen. I just hope he learns from all of it. And to you, yes to you — stop stalking me๐Ÿ™‚ (I have proof).

You can never evict me in his life. We will “always” be connected with each other. “Infinity?” There’s none, only always…

Our special bond, even if we’re not together, can never ever be broken. It will always remains the same as long as we live, and as long as we wanted.

Our paths will cross someday, and I’m always ready… See you around?

Good bye for now!

“If ever a woman steals my man, there is no better revenge than letting her keep him. Because no good man can ever be stolen.” – @ohteenquotes

See how happy I am right now? :)

See how happy I am right now?๐Ÿ™‚

Kay Sarap Maging Bata!

Nakaka-miss maging bata! Habang nagmumuni, naalala ko lang noong Elementary palang kami. Bumabalik-balik parin ang mga masasayang alaala ng kahapon bilang mumunting bata.

Ang sarap nu’ng sopas na tinitinda ng canteen sa halagang tatlumpiso, na kukunin ng mga naka-assign sa araw na yun! At syempre, kung sino rin ang kumuha ay sila rin ang maghuhugas ng cups.

Pagdating ng recess, mayroon din kaming dalawang kaklase na naka-assign sa pagkuha at paglako sa loob ng klase ng “tray” na galing sa canteen ang mga tinda. Palagi kong binibili dun yung tag-limampisong chocolate cake o kaya naman yung tikoy. Kasabay niyan, may mga lalakeng kaklase rin kaming kukuha ng orders kung gusto mong mag-softdrinks. Ang saya!

Uwian na pero kami, nagpapaiwan dahil maglilinis pa ng classroom. Pagkatapos naman ay magpapraktis na kami ng sayaw o kaya kanta, depende sa okasyon kada buwan. Naalala ko pa yung na-compose kong kanta for Nutrition Month na isinali namin sa isang competition. “Bakit Bata?” ang title ng kanta, pinalitan ko lang ang lyrics ng kanta ng Sexbomb na ” Bakit Papa?” Kwento ito ng batang ayaw kumain ng gulay. Luckily, nanalo kami ng 1st Place!๐Ÿ™‚

Naalala ko pa, maaga kaming pumapasok kapag kami ang nakatoka sa paglilinis sa corridor. Patingkaran talaga ng sahig nun! Parang may competition lagi! Todong kayod ng bunot kahit babae para lang mapakintab sa pula ang sahig namin. Fulfillment lang ang katapat kumbaga, dun kami masaya eh.

Nung sumapit naman ang ikahuling taon namin sa Elementary, madalas kaming magpraktis ng Marimba, kami kasi ang tutugtog ng Pambansang Awit at Lungsod Quezon Hymn sa Graduation day namin.

Walang limitasyon ang pagod namin dati bilang walang arte sa katawan at wala pang responsibilidad. Ngayon, nakaka-miss lang talaga na maging bata. Yung uuwi ka mula sa kalye, ang dumi-dumi mo pero masaya kang kakain ng hapunan at matutulog ng mahimbing dahil sa sobrang pagod kakalaro.

Champion pa kami palagi sa paglalaro ng Chinese Garter o kaya naman 10-20. Na-try ko ring maglaro ng Luksong Baka/Tinik pero parang panlalake kasi kaya pinaubaya ko na sa iba. Jackstone? Naku, magaling din ako dyan! Nagdadala pa kami niyan sa klase para kapag walang teacher, maglalaro kami.

Nakakalungkot lang sa ngayon, na imbes na mga larong pagpapawisan ang mga bata, ayun sila at nasa sulok, naglalaro ng computer games, laptop, etc. Sasakit na ang ulo nila, ang susungit pa kapag inawat mo na sa laro nila para kumain.

Recently, may 17 y/o na lalake na ‘di sinasadyang napatay ang lola niya dahil pinagalitan siya kakalaro ng computer games. Nakakalungkot.๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Sana habang bata pa, enjoyin nila, hindi yung nagmamadali silang magdalaga at magbinata. Masarap maging bata sa totoo lang.

Ngayon, hawak nila ay mga bagay na nakakapagpatanda sa kanila. Akala nila masayang tumanda nang hindi na-eenjoy ang pagkabata. Sa isang sulok, nagtetext, may ka-chat sa FB, etc.

Ang bente (P20) na baon namin nung high school, pan-load nalang nila ngayon, kulang pa nga yata. Ang oras namin noon sa paggawa ng assignments, oras ng galaan nila ngayon.

Everything has changed, ika nga nila. Pero ako, proud na batang 90s. Sarap eh! Nandiyan ang mga larong “Teks” na may prints ng favorite cartoon character mo, Jackstone sa mga babae, Patintero na para sa lahat, Trumpo, Taguan Base, atbp.

Simple lang naman maging masaya noon, at mga simpleng bagay at laro lang din ang katapat. Hay… Kay sarap maging bata!

Instrumental Woman

I love music (well, everybody loves it). But I feel incomplete as music lover because I can’t play any instruments before, until I joined the Marimba Band when we were in grade school.


Bamboo Organ: The Table

Bamboo Organ: The Table

The marimba is a percussion instrument consisting of a set of wooden bars struck with mallets to produce musical tones (Wikipedia).ย To be exact, I joined the band when I was in Grade 5 together with my other classmates. As newbies, we held the Tonic first until my classmates shifted to playing the Lire. I, together with my other three classmates, we were chosen to take place the seniors’ post since they are about to graduate. We were chosen based on our skills on playing the marimba, that’s why they gave us the spot to play the Table (melody and bass). Camille and I played the bass while Abigail and Joan played the melody.

Everytime we had school programs, we always play Lupang Hinirang and Quezon City Hymn. We also played in our graduation day๐Ÿ™‚ Now I missed Ma’am Barba (our Marimba band adviser).

During 3rd year High school when OPM bands boomed and rocked the country with their greatest hits, I learned how to play the guitar (thanks to my friend Carla). It was just a jamming session when we had no class that time. Luckily, she brought to school her guitar and she insisted that I should try to learn the guitar. Since I’m a fast learner (buhat ng sariling bangko moment), within 24 hours, I knew how to play the guitar then. No joke. I can now play the song Same Ground by Kitchie Nadal. During that time, that song was very popular alongside Jeepney, Narda, etc.

Since we have many free time during 3rd year High school (and I can’t remember why), I used it to share what I learned. I taught my classmates how to play the guitar (most of them were boys). Now, they are more skilled guitar players than me, can now do plucking and not just simple strumming of the guitar, etc. Wow, I’m a proud teacher!๐Ÿ™‚

So what instrument did I try to play during College days? Yes, I tried the piano and it’s so hard!

Now, I don’t have the time to play any of it: Marimba is not popular these days and I can’t see schools with Marimba band๐Ÿ˜ฆ We have guitar yes, but I don’t know what song to play.. And the piano? Duh, it’s really hard! It can be compared to the Table (marimba) because of melody and bass, same with the piano. But I’ll find time, I promise!๐Ÿ™‚ Who knows, I can be a great guitarist one day, playing my own composition infront of many people. Well, it’s possible!

Playing the piano way back 2011 :)

Playing the piano way back 2011๐Ÿ™‚

I used to play my own composition way back 4th year High school. It was our English month and I was given the chance to showcase my talent as a singer. During that time, I already composed a song titled “Blaming.” I made it New Year’s eve of 2006. Haha funny thing was, I can’t remember the lyrics (di pa kasi uso computer sakin nun!) But I can compose another one, if I have the time, and if I am inspired to do one.

There was a time when I also taught of having a band, with me as guitarist and also the lead vocals๐Ÿ™‚ That’s when I admire Danita Paner. My favorite song of her was “Lunod” and I sang it during an audition for a Glee Club in College.

Proud PUPian, Proud Kapamilya

I’m proud to be a PUPian! I’m also proud to be working with ABS-CBN, my Kapamilya. It’s overwhelming to be part of an award-giving body where both of them are involved.

The first PUP Mabini Media Awards was held last Thursday (February 13, 2014) at the Bulwagang Balagtas, Ninoy Aquino Learning and Library Resources Center (NALLRC). It also coincided with the 3rd Young Communicators’ Congress, attended by PUP-College of Communication students.

PUP awarded ABS-CBN as the Television Station of the Year for 2013, based on the votes of students via Student Information System (SIS). Since our boss will accept the award in behalf of Maam Charo Santos, he invited us to also come in the event since we were alumni of the university.

Entering Teresa St. to the university gate, seeing the catwalk, the Pylon, it brings back memories of my four years in PUP. On the way to Bulwagan, I saw a lot of students chatting about the event, seeing Mel Tiangco and other personalities who attended the event, made me imagine myself when I was still like them. We used to be starstrucked with news personalities because we idolize them.

Inside the Bulwagan, we seated two rows from the stage. Beside me were Winnie Cordero for Umagang Kay Ganda and Gus Abelgas for SOCO.

The whole experience was memorable. It will always remain in my heart that once upon a time, I went back to my Alma Matter and accepted an award for my beloved company.


My First Hug

When there’s first kiss, there’s also my first hug. Yes, and it’s from Enrique Gil again!

Sharing with you one of my bestest moments of January 2014, a “pasabog” before the month of January ended.

Thank you so much for being accomodating, Quen. God will bless you more of His blessings. Just be good to your followers and fans.